Escape to Toluca: Your Perfect Holiday Inn Express Getaway!
Alright, buckle up buttercups! We're diving headfirst into a review of [Insert Hotel Name Here, I just can’t quite remember it, maybe it's the name, I have to write it down so yeah just pretend it's here]. And honestly? This ain't gonna be your typical, sterile corporate-speak review. This is real, unfiltered, slightly scatterbrained (like me!) and jam-packed with everything you need to know, from the Wi-Fi situation to whether or not you'll survive the breakfast buffet. Let's get this show on the road!
First things first: Accessibility & Safety - The Ground Rules (and My Anxieties)
Okay, so I’m a bit of a worrier, especially when it comes to safety. Let’s be real, after COVID? I'm practically a walking Hazmat suit enthusiast, so this is hugely important to me. Plus, I’ve got a friend with mobility issues, so accessibility is crucial.
- Accessibility: They say they've got "Facilities for disabled guests" and an "Elevator" – which is a great start! But, sigh, the devil's always in the details, isn't it? We'd need to check specifics: are the bathrooms truly wheelchair-friendly? Are the public areas easy to navigate? This is where I hope the "Facilities for disabled guests" are not just a polite nod.
- Cleanliness & Safety: Okay, now we're talking. "Anti-viral cleaning products," "Daily disinfection in common areas," "Professional-grade sanitizing services," "Rooms sanitized between stays," "Staff trained in safety protocol." That’s, like, practically a fortress of germ-busting! Makes me breathe a little easier. The "Hand sanitizer" everywhere is a comfort (though I still secretly carry my own, judging the dispensers like a hawk).
- The Extras: A "Doctor/nurse on call"? Nice to have. "First aid kit"? Duh (but I still bring my own mega-kit). They also offer "Room sanitization opt-out available" which is, you know, cool because like, I'm not forcing anyone to sanitize their room?
- For the paranoid (and I'm one of them): "CCTV in common areas," "CCTV outside property," "Security [24-hour]," "Fire extinguisher", "Smoke alarms" – all welcome sights.
Internet - The Modern Necessity (and the Source of Much Frustration)
"Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" Yessssss! That's the battle won right there. But… let’s get down to brass tacks.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Good for when you need to, you know, leave your room.
- Internet [LAN] and Internet access: I guess for the old-school folks?
- Internet services: Hopefully, they actually work. Because I’ve been to hotels where the "Internet" was just a cruel, taunting illusion. A mirage of connectivity.
- Wi-Fi for special events: Good for meetings, important stuff, I guess.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax - The Pampering & the Sweat (and the Questionable Spa Music)
This is where it gets interesting. The hotel's got a whole arsenal of ways to either bliss out or work yourself into a sweaty mess.
- The Spa Scene: "Body scrub," "Body wrap," "Foot bath," "Massage," "Sauna," "Spa," "Spa/sauna," "Steamroom." Oh baby, now we’re talking! I need someone to scrub off all the stresses of the world, preferably while I’m wrapped in seaweed and listening to… well, hopefully not pan flute music.
- Pool with view, Swimming pool [outdoor], Swimming pool: A pool with a view? You got my attention! I'm obsessed with that, I really am. I have the weirdest collection of old bathing suits, and I'm always ready for a dive.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Okay, so I should probably use these. But let's be honest, after the massage, I might just be in a permanent state of horizontal bliss.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Fueling the Fun (or the Meltdown)
Food. Glorious food. This is where a hotel can truly win me over (or lose me).
- Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: Okay, variety. I like variety. A buffet? Always a gamble, but… I’m a sucker for a good buffet.
- Bar, Poolside bar, Happy hour: Essential. Especially after, you know, tackling the gym. Or not.
- Room service [24-hour]: Bless you, room service. Especially for those late-night cravings. Or the early morning “I need coffee now” emergencies.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast: Breakfast is crucial. It sets the tone for the entire day. The buffet better be good. I'm judging, hotel, I'm judging.
- Coffee shop: I'm basically fueled by caffeine, so this is a must.
My Personal Experience: The Breakfast Buffet (and the Great Croissant Crisis of '23)
Okay, so here's a confession: I'm a croissant connoisseur. And the breakfast buffet at [Hotel Name]… was a rollercoaster. First, the good: the coffee was amazing. Seriously, I think I drank an entire pot. The fresh fruit selection was vibrant and plentiful. The omelet station was staffed by a cheerful woman who genuinely seemed happy to cook me eggs.
Then… the croissants. They looked perfect. Golden, flaky, a promise of buttery deliciousness. But then… I bit into one. Crumbly, dense, a shadow of its supposed self. My heart sank. It was like a bad breakup after a perfect first date. I spent the next ten minutes in silent, croissant-related mourning, just staring into my coffee, feeling the weight of disappointment.
But then! I saw a new batch arrive, freshly baked. I took a deep breath, and… they were perfect. Light, airy, buttery, the kind of croissant that makes you close your eyes and sigh with pleasure. It was a true redemption arc. A culinary miracle.
Rooms: The Place You Actually Sleep (hopefully)
Here's the laundry list for the rooms you'll be getting into. (I really really hope they aren't rooms where a weird smell is lingering.)
- "Available in all rooms," "Additional toilet," "Air conditioning," "Alarm clock," "Bathrobes," "Bathroom phone," "Bathtub," "Blackout curtains," "Carpeting," "Closet," "Coffee/tea maker," "Complimentary tea," "Daily housekeeping," "Desk," "Extra long bed," "Free bottled water," "Hair dryer," "High floor," "In-room safe box," "Interconnecting room(s) available," "Internet access – LAN," "Internet access – wireless," "Ironing facilities," "Laptop workspace," "Linens," "Mini bar," "Mirror," "Non-smoking," "On-demand movies," "Private bathroom," "Reading light," "Refrigerator," "Safety/security feature," "Satellite/cable channels," "Scale," "Seating area," "Separate shower/bathtub," "Shower," "Slippers," "Smoke detector," "Socket near the bed," "Sofa," "Soundproofing," "Telephone," "Toiletries," "Towels," "Umbrella," "Visual alarm," "Wake-up service," "Wi-Fi [free]," "Window that opens."
I'm a sucker for blackout curtains and fluffy bathrobes. And a safe box is a must these days.
Services and Conveniences - Making Life Easier (or More Luxurious)
Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: A lot of great options that really don't interest me much, except for a "Convenience store" because you know, when you run out of snacks..
Cashless payment service: A big plus in my book. Less fumbling for cash, more
Okay, strap in, buttercup. This ain't your grandma's perfectly-polished travel itinerary. This is the raw, unfiltered, slightly-hungover truth about my planned (fingers crossed) escape to the Holiday Inn Express Toluca by IHG in Mexico. Buckle up, because it's gonna be a bumpy, beautiful ride.
Day 1: Arrival, Maybe (and the Great Mattress Mystery)
- Morning (Around 8:00 AM, if I can drag myself out of bed): Flight depart from (insert departure airport). Pray to the travel gods for a smooth flight, because turbulence makes me want to clutch a fluffy kitten and weep. This always seems to be the biggest gamble. You get what you get.
- Afternoon (Depends on Flight Times, but ideally around 2:00 PM): ARRIVE in the glorious, chaotic, potentially-altitude-sickness-inducing Toluca. Immigration? Pray. Baggage carousel? Pray again. Finding my ride? Triple pray.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening (3:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Check into the Holiday Inn Express. Okay, this is where the real drama begins. Here's the thing: I'm a mattress snob. A severe one. I dream of that perfect sleep, the one where you wake up feeling like a goddamn unicorn. So, first impression? The mattress. If it's that rock-hard, "you-might-as-well-be-sleeping-on-concrete" variety, I'm going to have to have a polite, passive-aggressive conversation with the front desk. (Translation: I'll ask for a room change while mentally composing a scathing review of their mattress selection.)
- Evening (6:00 PM Onwards): Explore. Seriously though; I'll probably be knackered. Walk around the immediate area for as long as I can before the jet lag and exhaustion set in. This is for the first reconnaissance. Is there any good food around? Will the street vendors be friendly? Or will they try to sell me a suspiciously-fresh-looking iguana? (Kidding… mostly.) Dinner will be something simple. I'll be tempted to order room service but I'll probably go out.
Day 2: Markets, Museums, and the Quest for the Perfect Taco
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Breakfast at the hotel (free breakfast, what's not to love.) I'm a sucker for a good continental buffet. Eggs, something vaguely resembling fruit, and coffee so strong it could animate a corpse. Fuel up, because today we're hitting the Centro Historico.
- Morning/Early Afternoon (10:00 AM - 2:00 PM): Okay, the Toluca Market. This is what I'm really looking forward to. So, I've heard tales of vibrant colors, the aroma of a thousand spices, and… well, everything. I'm talking clothing, pottery, handicrafts, and every food imaginable. I'm expecting to get completely lost. I might buy a sombrero I'll never wear. I'd LOVE to find a unique souvenir for my friend. I'm sure I'll get ripped off on the price of something, but that's part of the fun, right? The only thing I need immediately is a refillable water bottle.
- Late Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Museum Time! I've read something about the Museum of Anthropology. I'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan of museums - lots of standing around staring. But, the history is something I do love! I love the stories. I'll be there for an hour or two max.
- Evening (6:00 PM Onwards): Taco time. This is non-negotiable. Street tacos? Fancy restaurant tacos? Whatever the taco gods dictate. The quest for the PERFECT taco begins. This could involve multiple taco stops. I'll be judging this very carefully based on the flavor, the tortilla integrity, the salsa heat level, and the general feeling of happiness it gives me. I'm going to be a picky eater, but I'm sure I'll love whatever I find! I'll be taking a LOT of pictures.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Back to the hotel, crash. Possibly watch some bad TV and get sleepy.
Day 3: The Nevado de Toluca If I'm Feeling Brave and the Weather Cooperates…
- Morning (8:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Another breakfast buffet (hell yes!) and a serious internal debate about whether or not to tackle the Nevado de Toluca. This is the big one. I'm talking a dormant volcano, a lake, and views that could make your knees weak. The catch? Altitude sickness. The other catch? It's a bit of a trek, and I might chicken out.
- Morning/Afternoon (9:00 AM - 3:00 PM): If I'm feeling adventurous (and my lungs are behaving), it's Nevado time! This involves finding a tour, which is a whole adventure in itself. Then, you're strapped into a minibus and you face the drive up the mountain. The weather will probably be cold. I'll probably forget a hat and gloves. I'll definitely forget my oxygen. Pray I don't get sick.
- Late Afternoon (3:00 PM - 5:00 PM): If the Nevado thing fails, this will be an alternative. This may involve exploring a local park, visiting a church, or just wandering around aimlessly, enjoying the city vibes. Maybe I'd go for a walk.
- Evening (6:00 PM Onwards): One last dinner in Toluca. I'm looking for something authentic. It may involve trying different types of Mexican food.
Day 4: Departure (And the Great Mattress Finale)
- Morning (8:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Final breakfast. Another coffee. If I haven't already, I'll sneak a peak at the mattress one last time. (Hopefully, it's grown on me. Or I'll be seriously rethinking my hotel choices.)
- Late Morning (10:00 AM): Check out of the hotel. Do I regret my choices? (Maybe!)
- Afternoon (Lunch, Airport trip, approximately 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM): Quick lunch. The flight is in the afternoon. Pray for no delays, no lost luggage, and a smooth journey home.
- Evening (Upon arriving home): Collapsing on my own bed, and basking in the glorious, non-concrete-feeling embrace of my own mattress. And start planning the next trip.
- After-Trip Notes: After all of this, I'm going to write a review of this place!
Important side-notes (because I'm a rambling mess, remember?):
- Spanish: My Spanish is… basic. I'll be armed with a few key phrases and a lot of hand gestures. Pray for my survival.
- Safety: I'm going to be as cautious as possible. I'll avoid walking alone at night. I will be vigilant with my belongings. I will try to blend in (which, as a pale person, may be a losing battle).
- Expect the Unexpected: This is Mexico. Things might not go according to plan. Embrace the chaos! Laugh when things go wrong. It's all part of the adventure.
So there you have it. My messy, honest, and hopefully entertaining (for you, at least) travel itinerary. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it. And if the Holiday Inn Express has an amazing mattress, I promise to send you a detailed report. (And maybe even a photo.)
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So, what *is* this even about, exactly? Because honestly, I'm already kinda lost.
Okay, fine. But why *now*? Why this, why me, why is my coffee cold?
Will there be advice? Because I desperately need some. My cat is judging my life choices.
Is this... structured? Because, I see the words "FAQ" but the structure feels…loose.
Okay, you mentioned something about life lessons. What is the biggest one you had to learn, so far?
Will there be swearing? Because I tend to swear a lot, so if it is clean, I am out.
Let’s get down to brass tacks: What’s your guilty pleasure? We all have them.
I think you are avoiding the subject. What’s the one thing you *really* want to talk about?
